If you attended KHS last year, you were probably at seniors’ last assembly. And if you were there, you may remember raucously applauding the seniors as they revealed their gift: Donut Days, a new tradition where the students of KHS, on the first Wednesday of every month for the next year, were to receive donuts before school. This is a BRILLIANT idea. Honestly, it’s one of the greatest senior gifts of all time, a gift that keeps on giving, a reason to remember the greatness of the class of 2013.

BUT NO. As you may have heard, Donut Days have been cancelled. And if you haven’t heard, you have now. I’m not sure what your reaction is, but after being denied donuts, I can’t imagine it’s good. No matter what, you have the right to be MAD. We should all be mad! This is seriously bad news, and it completely ruins something special we had as students. So let the hate flow through you, and let’s get to the bottom of this problem.

There are two alleged reasons given for the cancellation of Donut Days. The first reason (and I am not making this up) is that a health committee of some sort looked into this matter, and made an important discovery. APPARENTLY, donuts are not quite so… healthy for you. Now, the very youngest of us are 14. Some seniors are already legal adults. So the fact that a health issue, such as the lack of healthy nutrients in donuts, can cause this kind of tragic fallout is appalling. Honestly, can we not handle donuts? And if we really couldn’t, could we maybe just choose not to eat them? Is that too much to ask? Yes! It is. Well, as far as being treated like little children goes, this takes the cake. I mean, you’ve worked hard for the last month. It’s Wednesday morning. Enjoy a donut. Youdeserve it, and it’s being taken away. It’s nothing less than simplistic, bureaucratic nonsense.

There was another reason that Donut Days were cancelled, which may be even more unbelievable than the first. I don’t know who it is. I don’t know what they do. But there is some person, or group of people, impeding the progress of Donut Day because it causes competition with the cafeteria. They think that the fact that we would have donuts ONCE A MONTH would cause some sort of new food system here at KHS. Personally, I love the cafeteria. I eat there every day. Most students do. But cancelling a MONTHLY donut feast on Wednesday MORNINGS for the sake of keeping competition out of our cafeteria is going a bit far. Besides, call me a capitalist pig, but I like the idea of a free-market food economy where you can eat anywhere from a range of choices and the highest quality product wins out. But that’s just an idea anyway.

So, as students, what do we do about this problem? Well, we do what we always do. We complain, even at the risk of being called “sarcastic and whiny.” We have to be careful, though, to do this in a way in which we can not only gain a good support group and a substantial chunk of administrative attention, but also execute a good plan in a structured, well-organized, fairly violence-free way. So get out there and do something about it. Make signs. Make petitions. Tell a faculty member you’re ticked off. They may be ticked off too. And if we’re all ticked off together, maybe, just maybe, we can save our Senior Gift.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: The opinions expressed in the above represent a significantly extreme stance on this issue, and I understand that they are expressed in a rather harsh way. I also realize that the extent of power to change this situation is something I know little about. My simple aims are to entertain students with a column, and to actually push to make whatever difference I can. Also, this being an opinion column, I don’t express the content in the same way as many other writers, so it is less oriented on actual facts or advice. In short, it is not written for the purpose of assisting the administration in any way. I understand all objections to my writing, but I’ll never apologize for my voice. Thank you for reading.

ANOTHER AUTHOR’S NOTE: I say the word ‘donut’ quite a few times in this column, and that’s to emphasize one thing: It’s spelled that way. There may be people that prefer the ‘doughnut’ spelling, which I understand. The only problem with this is that it’s silly and ridiculous, and everyone who condones it should not actually be ALLOWED to be on the internet, reading this column.