What to Bring to College

Looks like it won’t be long until seniors get the boot. A rowdy percentage of us are getting shipped off to college; rejoice, KHS faculty. Soon we’re going to have to pack our belongings and peace out girl scout. Might as well give you kids some pointers of what to bring on your incredible journey.

 

  • Clothes. Please bring clothes.
  • A Tempur-Pedic mattress for your developing osteoporosis.
  • A powerstrip to run up the electric bill.
  • Ibuprofen for your…headaches.
  • First-aid kit and tampons. If you’re a man maybe dismiss the tampons. But never doubt the power of having a tampon on hand when a girl needs one.
  • A day-planner, even if you’ve discarded the KHS ones provided for you. I miss my daily planner; trying to savant your way through school is silly.
  • A low-watt light bulb for your desk lamp. 40 watt or lower is good enough, don’t blind yourself with a 100 watt right by your face.
  • Face-cloths or rags for room cleaning. If your dorm is gross, adios.
  • A loft bed or bunk bed. You’re gonna need room for activities.
  • An umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh.
  • Heavy-duty insect killer spray. Again, never doubt the power…
  • A mini-vacuum. Genuinely consider this. They’re so nice.
  • Super glue. I recommend Gorilla glue.
  • Your emergency tracheotomy knowledge.
  • Board games. Bring along your weird Downton Abbey Monopoly set.
  • Finally, bring a cool figurine for your desk. Like a Pikachu or Hulk Hogan action figure. Express yourself.