Dear High School, 

Thank you for opening my eyes. Thank you for teaching me more than anyone or anything else ever has, and maybe ever will. Not just in academics, but also in life. Thank you for always being there as an escape, and even for hurting me sometimes, because without the hurt I wouldn’t have grown. 

High school has not been fun. However, it hasn’t been excruciating either. As I’m less than a month away from graduating I find it hard to piece together an exact emotion that I may be feeling right now. It isn’t as simple as just a single feeling of relief, sadness, grief, joy, or excitement. Instead, it’s all of the above. Every day I find it harder to restrict myself from flooding with tears thinking about the graduation day that is quickly approaching. That day marks the official end of my childhood and the beginning of what’s known as the rest of my life. I’ll be an adult, living states away from my loved ones on my own, and starting and creating my own life. Sure, I’m excited, but I’m also torn apart over the fact that I could leave and it may be the last time I see someone in my family. It’s scary to think that I won’t be here to help them and make sure everyone is staying happy.

For me, high school wasn’t just about the grades, and looking good on paper for college-high school was a learning experience. It was a disaster and a “fairytale” all at once. Sometimes it felt like a dream whereas other times it felt like my own personal hell. However, I wouldn’t want to have changed any of it. The memories and friendships I made will hopefully last me a lifetime. I’ll hold on to the good memories as well as all the ones I’d like to forget on the next steps of my journey I’ll soon call my life. I’m excited to move to that next step. Excited to meet a ton of new friends who will stay with me forever, to experience living on my own, for football games, more school, more mental breakdowns, and of course, I’m most excited to finally be able to find out who I really am-apart from my family and friends that I’ve grown up with. 

I’ll miss waking up at six in the morning, rushing to get ready, and driving to school just to meet up with my friends in the lobby before class. I’ll miss walking the halls in between classes, trying to waste time so I don’t have to go back and present my project or sit at a desk for another 40 minutes. I’ll miss sneaking into the bathrooms to meet up with friends and talk about plans for that night, and searching for a table to sit in the lunchroom when they’re all completely full. I’ll miss skipping class to go get coffee just because I can’t sit through another boring science lab or writing workshop day without one. I’ll miss the football and soccer games where I get to cheer on all my friends. I’ll miss searching endlessly to find the green hat on the top of my best friend’s head in the chaotic lobby after the final bell rings. The beach cruises after school and blasting music and relaxing after a stressful day of finals will always be some of my favorite memories. Or the feeling you get on the last day of school before summer break, knowing you’re about to have the best summer ever. 

I remember how hard I cried on the last day of 6th grade. The year before changing schools and becoming a middle schooler. The first big educational step you take as a child. Leaving all my friends and growing up was the scariest thing back then. If I thought that was hard imagine how I feel now as an 18-year-old who is soon leaving the state. I don’t know how I got here, and at times I don’t know how I survived, but I’m here. There’s no going back. It’s my time to take that leap of faith and tread the even rockier waters of life that I know I’ll soon endure. I’m terrified of growing up, but here I go. 

So to high school-thank you for the memories. Thank you for letting me be myself and kicking me in the butt when I really needed it. Thanks for being harsh, and thanks for being kind. Thank you for helping to shape me into the person that I am right now at this very moment. Thank you for giving me something that is so hard to say goodbye to. Thank you for some of the best and worst four years of my life. When they said high school would go by fast I didn’t understand until now, it truly does feel like it was over in the blink of an eye. So, if there’s one thing I’ve learned that’s worth leaving behind: don’t take these years for granted, don’t waste a second, live every possible moment to the fullest, and never ever wish you were that senior getting ready to leave home, because before you know it you will be that senior. 

So I guess this is it, [email protected] signing off.