Dear Anxiety,

We have crossed paths many times throughout my life

But I officially met you for the first time in 6th grade

You were lonely 

I decided to be your friend 

We started hanging out

First at school

Then at home

Finally, you invaded my entire life

I could never get rid of you

It was one thought here

Another fear there

Soon my whole life was a thought here 

and a fear there

I thought I was doing us a favor

You helped me realize life can be scary

You helped me become more mature

 lose my innocence

And I helped you

I gave you a place to stay

I gave you a new friend 

It wasn’t long before you brought me another friend

Depression,

I didn’t even realize when you moved in

I just started noticing that I was misplacing things

I shook it off as I have a terrible memory

First, I lost my drive

Then, I lost my hope

Right and left, I started losing things

But you, Anxiety

You, Depression

I certainly didn’t lose you 

As much as I desired to 

I couldn’t

You two managed to take over my house

And ruin it to the point of crumbling ancient ruins

My house that was once filled with beautiful thoughts

Once filled with hopes and dreams

Once a house that was taller than the sky

You tore my lovely house apart

You shattered MY HOUSE into pieces

You two always disagreed on everything

Depression wanted me to just lay in bed 

Depression told me I wasn’t allowed to move

He told me I wasn’t allowed to live anymore

Anxiety wanted me to do everything.

Wake up at 4:30 

Get out of bed

Make sure everybody in my life is happy 

Make sure I do everything right

Do this, do that

No downtime

But there was one thing you both could agree on

I was a failure

I was worthless

And I couldn’t do anything right

I didn’t want to unfriend you both

I didn’t want to hurt your feelings

I knew you both needed a place to stay 

I knew I could never get rid of you

I knew I could never live by myself again

So Depression, Anxiety 

You betrayed my trust

Destroyed my happiness

My self-worth

My house

One thought, one fear at a time

You took over my whole house

And made it what you wanted

You locked me in the dark basement

Made it so I couldn’t say no

So I couldn’t fight back

But there will come a day

When I will climb the basement stairs

When I WILL open the door

When I WILL fight back

I WILL get rid of you both 

For good

Locking both of YOU in the basement

The basement of MY house

My house that you destroyed

So Depression, Anxiety…

I hope you like the dark